Skip to main content

Candies You Grew Up With That May Gross You Out Now (Part 1)

Being a kid in the 70s and 80s allowed you to experience certain candies that may no longer be produced but some of the stuff you grew up with is still around and there are even some specialty stores and websites that cater to making available the treats of your youth. However, just because you can still get them, doesn't mean you should. Your adult palette is vastly different than your youthful taste of what was gross and what was really cool.

While eating some of the stuff on this list today may remind you of your youth, it may also provide startling and sobering realizations that you may not have been firing on all cylinders when making choices while spending your hard earned allowance at the candy counter as a kid.


Bazooka - Not only was this gum cheap, 2 for a penny back in the day although I may be seriously dating myself, but it also came with a small comic featuring Bazooka Joe, who wore an eye patch and a bunch of his freaky friends including Mort who wore his turtleneck pulled up way over his mouth. If you collected enough of them, you could send away for X-Ray Specs or a Spy Ring. Only problem was the gum turned to rock and tasted like cardboard in about 3 minutes.



Gold Nugget Gum - Although this gum suffered the same fate as Bazooka in terms of turning to rock in your mouth and tasting like paste in less than 3 minutes, it came with very cool packaging in the shape of a little sack similar to what prospectors or cowboys supposedly carried their gold nuggets around in. When you were done pretending you were a cowboy after all your gum was gone, you could find other uses for the sack. Many a little plastic green army man suffered a cruel fate while imprisoned in the tiny sack with a fist full of marbles.



Wax Lips - While we're on the subject of gum that tastes like cardboard, I submit for your consideration the ruby red wax lips. You looked like a Mr. Potato Head when you wore them and when the novelty wore off, you tried to chew it like gum and found out - it ain't gum. Can you even chew wax safely? I mean there are lovely strawberry scented candles out there but is anyone compelled to take a bite out of one and chew on it?



Nik-L-Nip - Speaking of wax, these babies were little wax bottles that you bit the top off of and sucked back the sweet elixir within. These things were so freakin' un-Godly sweet and partly responsible for the footmarks on the ceiling in my room when I was a kid. There's also a version that looked like little coke bottles and tasted oddly like today's Coke Black.


Popeye Cigarettes - What was cooler
than riding up on your banana seated bike, with hockey cards in the spokes, in your Fonzie T-shirt and Nike canvas high tops and whipping out a pack of Popeye Cigarettes and slowly pulling one out of the pack and raising it casually to you're lips, pretending to take a slow drag like you saw your dad do on a real cancer stick, looking at your friends and giving the thumb's up signal while uttering the coolest thing you could come up with back then, "Aaaaaaaaaaay!". Answer - nothing, nothing was cooler.


Fun Dip - Quite possibly the most impractical candy every marketed. Concept was simple. Lick the candy stick and dip it in the flavored crystals and lick the crystals off and repeat. However, it was hard to sneak a dose during class, and sharing was a bitch. Either you split the candy stick, which made it harder to eat, or you had to let your friend stick a wet finger in the pouch. Yummy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Candies You Grew Up With That May Gross You Out Now (Part 2)

In part 1 of this series, we looked at some examples of candies that you may have grew up with in the 70s and 80s that hold a sweet memory in your mind of carefree and happier times when getting a sugar high after school was paramount on your things to do list. The reality is some of these treats were actually kind of disgusting but it took years of maturing before coming to that conclusion. Not all of it was that bad though. Here's a look at some more of our favorite sugar fix delivery systems. 
Candy Necklaces - Candy that allowed for sharing was always fun. These candy bracelets and necklaces allowed you to share with your nearest and dearest friends and make you the most popular kid in the schoolyard. Your friends would line up for a chance to chew off a sweet morsel off the string hanging around your neck. The wouldn't even mind or care that the string of candy has been hanging around your neck all day on a hot and humid summer day while you played soccer. Yummy.

Pop Rocks

I Want My MTV - To Start Playing Music Videos Again

There was a time when having your song played on the radio in a regular rotation was the most critical aspect of music promotion. Getting on the air in major markets was paramount to success. It was all about the quality of the music and vocals, there was substance, there was talent, you didn't have to be pretty or ruggedly handsome to have a hit record. Then it all went hell. Well, not at first.




In 1981, Music Television went on the air in the U.S. and single handedly changed the way music was marketed and promoted virtually overnight. MTV was the brainchild of Warner Communications and American Express, who funded Warners' cable business but wanted a commercial outlet to reach the teen and young adult markets who traditionally have high disposable income.

When Warner and Amex gave the go ahead for the channel, the timing couldn't have been worse. In the late 70s, record companies were hurting and looking to cut costs and one of the first things on the chopping block were m…

Retro Video of the Day - Max Headroom's Christmas Classic

Need a break from all the sappy Christmas music that is no doubt following you around everywhere you go these days as you prepare for the magic of Christmas while draining your savings account? Search no further - Max Headroom is back to bring you some retro joy.

Remember him? If your a retro fan then you are aware of the odd phenomenon from the mid 80s that spawned a bit of a craze. With technology becoming a bigger part of our lives and video technology pushing new boundaries, the timing was perfect for the emergence of a fictional artificial intelligence doing his thing on a video screen.

Max Headroom got his start as British TV series but became better known thanks to a video by Art of Noise that featured him performing for "Paranoimia". That led to a gig as a spokesman (spokesgraphic ? spokesimage ? spokesthingy ?) or talking head for New Coke that helped propel Max into the public conscienceness.

Due to his popularity, Chrysalis released a Christmas song featuring Max sin…

Happy Retro Mother's Day !!

If you happen to have forgotten mother's day, which is is today, don't be surprised if the looks your getting from mama look something like this.

And rightly so. After all, regardless of what you think of your mother, remember one thing - she grew a human being inside her body. Let me say that again - she grew a human being (or possibly a few) in her body. For that alone you have to respect her. She sacrificed her body, time and energy and smothered you with unconditional love to make you the person you are today and you couldn't take the time to drop by a Hallmark store? Mr T pities the fool that doesn't respect his mom. 

I'm still lucky to have my mom in my life and it amazes me that even at her age she seems to have more energy than I do and still manages to keep smiling even with all the aches and pain that come with getting older. What's the secret ? How does she do it ?

Many have entertained the Supermom theory and that would certainly explain a lot however …

The Return of Retroguy !!

Hi everyone - been a while since my last post. Hey, life happens! I had to put this on the back burner for a while but thanks for all the kind words! Fear not, I'm back!! Been working on the look of the page so this you may see changes for the next little while.

Plenty more to come but for now, check out this awesome cover from Hall and Oats from the "Live From Darryl's House" web series featuring the Canadian electro-pop duo Chromeo.

As always - Keep It Retro !